My imposter syndrome

What Was I Made For_ Billie Eilish

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Have you ever wanted to do something so badly but you didn't dare because you asked yourself: Who am I to do that? That limiting belief is the symptom of imposter syndrome and many of us have it. I have it. Because who am I to write this blog?

For years I had the idea of having a blog to write about the topics I like. Why? Because I felt like I wanted to do it, it was deep inside me, I could visualize it. Because I could sense the pleasure of having a space of my own where I could express myself freely and talk about the topics I like such as gardens, travel, dance, design, my way of feeling, etc. and connect with other people.

...the pleasure of having a space of my own in which I could express myself freely...

Anyway, in addition to the famous “I don't have time, work consumes me” I wondered what topic I was going to choose as if I had to stick to just one. Also, wouldn't it be a little daring to start talking about a topic that I know well but I'm not an expert either? Those limiting beliefs were holding me back.

...Those limiting beliefs were holding me back...

The turns of life.

Yes, the twists and turns of life and that nothing is coincidence but causality made that work that consumed me and did not leave me time to do other things I wanted, leave me. Thus 18 years of total work dedication disappeared in one breath due to financial cuts by the company. It was that same situation that left me with the time in my favor to finally start this blog!

...the time in my favor...

Just a few weeks before that unexpected turn, I had registered my name on a web domain and I was already happy with it just that because as the proverb says, “getting started is 50% of everything.” Therefore with my registered domain I had already gone further than ever before in this dream.

Of course, this action did not come alone but because I was taking a personal branding course and my teacher Raquel, among many things, one day told us about having a website or a blog, about connecting with people, about showing ourselves as we are to others, trusting that we have something valuable to share and that others, not everyone but those with whom we want to connect, would be very interested. Additionally, she led us to reflect on our possible limiting beliefs and get rid of imposter syndrome. Raquel even recommended some providers where we could register our domain.

That class was a real trigger for me, it was my Bingo moment! It hit the heart of my concerns. Since I had always wanted to have my blog and by then everything made more sense, I was getting prepared for a change of job reconversion, resuming my career after many years and I wanted to start creating and expressing myself on my own. That course gave me the impetus and a starting point. That same week I registered my domain lauradiyorio.com

...a trigger ... the impetus...

I was already determined to do it, happy, enthusiastic, seeing that it was possible. Suddenly, I realized that I didn't have to choose a single topic to talk about or look for how to combine them because I could actually start telling stories from my life and then naturally the topics would appear on their own. Suddenly I also realized that years ago I had noticed that people really liked listening to my stories and I liked telling them, so why not write them? Suddenly everything seemed to be much simpler, without so many questions and I was ready to do it.

...without so many questions and I was ready to do it...

In a year that had already started with a lot of pain for me and going through many bereavements, I continued to draw strength from where I could to move forward, I took several refresher courses in my career to achieve the job change I wanted and I had concentrated a lot on the studies and as always in my work. My blog project was already generating excitement for me.

Then everything went very fast. Only about 2 or 3 weeks passed and the news of the job termination came, the last big blow, and I must say that the company had a far from humane handling of the situation.

 ... the last big blow...

My first reaction was that everything was going to be fine, that everything is always for the better, etc. but the next day I started to get a fever and feel all the pain. Winter was beginning and it was very sad. Many things had happened to me and very hard things in my family, personally and at work. The uncertainty was high and my self-esteem was very low, in the fifth hell and trampled.

...my self-esteem was very low, in the fifth hell and trampled...

However, and don't ask me how because I don't even know but that's how I am, while I was crying, immersed in pain, I also immediately started creating and enjoying my blog.

...also immediately started creating and enjoying my blog...

Writing my stories, designing the site, giving shape and meaning to everything, choosing the photos, flowing with when and what I wanted to tell, saying it my way, with my way of seeing and feeling things was something that was truly mine and the most pleasant. My greatest satisfaction and fulfillment in a moment of almost destruction, I repeat, my greatest fulfillment. 

...My greatest satisfaction and fulfillment...

Sometimes I'm still embarrassed to put myself out there and I also question myself about writing this blog. How am I going to write if I don't perfect myself first? Maybe no one is interested. Do I dare to show such photos? How am I going to talk about such a topic if, as much as I care about it, I don't know that much?

Needless to say, this is a solo project so I alone have to move forward and tell my limiting beliefs to shut up.

I have become aware that I must value myself much more and trust in myself and that I will achieve results by looking much more at what I have going for me than at what I may lack to achieve my goals.

Luckily my teacher Raquel left me another idea that helps me a lot on this path of achievements: “Better done than perfect.”

... “Better done than perfect”...

The thing is that he who doesn't do anything doesn't make a mistake, says another Chinese proverb. Not long ago I understood that I am allowed to make mistakes, that error is part of doing things, of trying and that even from mistakes we learn and that perfect is not so perfect if for seeking perfection, we stop trying.

...I understood that I am allowed to make mistakes...

The important thing is to give myself the place I want to occupy, to be true to myself and to do that go through the difficult task of leaving the safe, encourage myself to do the new and trust very much that I will achieve it, as my dear Inés told me many times in this last year. Just like when I taught difficult courses and to encourage my students I told them to trust the process, now I tell this same to myself and I trust that this blog is taking me to a happier place.

...I trust that this blog is taking me to a happier place...

So, who am I to write this blog?

I'm Laura Di Yorio, nice to meet you! And I have my desire, my pleasure and all my heart ready to share with you my stories and a message of a world with more love.

Here it is 1000% me.